We, who have surpassed our golden years, offer these valuable tips that have been collected from many a senior, each with his or her own piece of advice. So read well, share with your loved ones, and have a great day and a great life!

LIGAW TINGIN

I haven’t heard of anyone eloping these days. Is digital courtship as romantic as in the era of the ‘harana’?

These cyber days, romance has gone digital. Facebook has taken over face-to-face courtship. Today’s young lass is wooed and won via the internet. My kasambahay’s young daughter spends her days glued to her tablet in promiscuous virtual relationships with numerous young men, to the distress of her mother, who despairs of imposing discipline on the 14-year-old!

No young person today, it seems, is able to survive without this gadget, no matter how humble the parental circumstance may be. In a way, it reminds me of the “phone pal” days of my youth when telephones were still a rarity and one frequently had to importune a neighbor to make a phone call, and/or verbally tussle with a party line over its use.

I remember a time when elopements were the “thing.” Many of my cousins, facing parental objection/s to the object of their affection, ended up eloping—then married in haste, upon their repentant return to the parental home, usually with baby in tow to soften recalcitrant parental hearts.

I haven’t heard of anyone eloping these days.

Today’s young lovers have it much easier. Many simply pack their bags and move in together, parental objections having become redundant in our more permissive society. I think—pious constraints notwithstanding—that the arrangement is pragmatic.

Why take on the “till death do us part” commitment unless you have given it some very serious thought, tried it on for size, so to speak, and are relatively sure the union will last beyond the throes of passion and the rigors of day-to-day reality? One doesn’t even buy a pair of shoes without fitting them! Marriage, surely, deserves far more serious consideration!

But there was romance and adventure in the repressive “good old days.” Doubtless the sense of anticipation, delayed gratification, and/or the attraction of the forbidden fruit have much to do with it.

‘Visiting’  - It would all start with ligaw tingin.

My generation, which came of age in the ’50s, literally lived the age of innocence. Sex education was unheard of, and a taboo subject at home where the truth about the birds and the bees was never discussed.

I think I was in second-year high school when no less that our Dean, Fr. John P. Delaney, S.J. taught our class that one didn’t catch babies from holding hands! He took the trouble of inviting female students from UP to enliven our hitherto dull all-male class parties. Of course, slow drag was discouraged; a Jesuit would hold a ruler threatening to measure the distance between dancing couples. Instead, the high-flying coeds wrestled with us clumsy males as they taught us how to dance the boogie and the square dance.

The usual courtship ritual was for the boy to pay court to a girl by formally calling on her at home (euphemistically called “visiting”). If the girl is pretty and popular, or if there were more than one girl of about the same age in the house, you could have several young swains “visiting” at the same time. Then, the situation could get somewhat muddled.

A familiar experience was that of a classmate who had three very pretty younger sisters, and it was not unusual for us to have a posse of boys calling on them simultaneously, it was difficult to tell which one of us a particular boy, or group of boys, had come to visit. We labelled the unexpected visitor “submarino” for obvious reasons. In the normal course of events, the object of the boy/boys’ attention became clear and eventually, the girl likewise would make her choice known by agreeing to “go steady” with a particular suitor, automatically eliminating the others.

The standard practice was for courting couples to sit facing each other across a table, or side by side on adjoining chairs, with or without the watchful eyes of a chaperone hovering nearby. Absolutely no touching, and no holding hands! Dating was not encouraged, and if allowed, required a chaperone, usually a trusted older person.

Even going out to parties with girlfriends was strictly restricted, and required a midnight curfew. A particularly romantic tradition of that era, which has regrettably disappeared over the years, is the harana in which a suitor “serenades” his ladylove with a guitar and a song.

Perhaps it is just as well that this romantic practice has disappeared. How indeed, do you serenade today’s ladylove, living 10, or 29 floors above, in a multistory condominium on a street clogged with traffic? Can the plaintive chords of your guitar and timbre of your singing voice, no matter how sweet or persuasive, overcome the resounding cacophony of the incessant traffic noise across the street?

And one may well wonder if digital courtship and dating are as romantic as in the days of the harana when we managed and pressed our suit by visiting our ladylove at home and stealing a kiss or two!

As the song goes,  

“Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd sing the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way . . .”

But end, they did.

Chronological Attempts to Stay Healthy – Generally Futile

        Most octogenarians cannot claim to be as healthy as I currently am. The great majority have had some kind of major medical episodes. The only major health episode I’ve had is Herpes Zoster or Shingle, which by itself is not life threatening, but it disrupted my routine morning exercise resulting in weakened leg muscles. At seventy, it was extremely difficult to resume the old routine.

Consider the odds.

        I lost regular employment at 65.  Together with the employment was the loss of my health benefits. At any rate HMOs discontinue their benefits for those over 65 years old. One can continue coverage but you have to pay an escalating premium every year without any recourse to cash values, dividends, or return of premiums. I still have Philhealth coverage but it can only shoulder a small portion of the total hospital bill. 

        A friend was hospitalized for a major illness in one of the tertiary hospitals in Metro-Manila. A major illness is called such because it is curable but major assets have to be thrown into it. Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink time!  It’s also called catastrophic disease because it spells a catastrophe to the finances of the family involved. Today, my friend has been moved to a neighborhood hospital because his resources are almost gone. Relatives and friends have pitched in but donor fatigue is setting in. Philippine General Hospital, a public hospital with Grade A medical care but Grade D for hospital atmosphere beckons. A trip to the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office has to be done. Government helps the destitute, but requires to show proof.

Indigent. Insolvent. Pauper. These words sting. Perhaps poverty is even harder to take than the disease itself, because the last resort is the family home.

        Yes, Filipinos in general are in danger of heart-wrenching financial crisis in the latter years of their lives because modern medical science offers many options to keep the family head or member alive by all possible means. No one turns his or her back on family. Not in the Philippines.

        The future is not going to be easy for oldies who may later on be stricken by major disease. So, aside from deep breaths and prayers, preventive medicine is the only answer. While still applicable . . .

       Let’s go back to Kindergarten where we learned the basics. A nursery rhyme goes:

“The best six doctors anywhere and no one can deny it

Are sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise and diet.

These six will gladly you attend If only you are willing

Your mind they'll ease, Your will they'll mend, and charge you not a shilling.”

N