How to continue enjoying life!
As we go through life, we accumulate various habits that trap us in a zone where we find comfort, but such zones are always way below what we can potentially attain. Because they in time become encrusted in us, soon such habits slip below our level of consciousness. But subconsciously these habits will still determine what we do and not do. As long as you let these habits rule you, you will stagnate and rot.
Young people are very adaptable; they can adjust to changing comfort zones with ease. They can socialize with the homeless and beggars in the morning and be equally at ease at a formal banquet in the evening. As we grow old, the ability to adapt to wide-ranging comfort zones becomes more difficult. Social prejudice narrows our comfort zone range. As our physical and mental faculties start to fade, we begin to feel that we are being pushed into the corner of a dwindling comfort zone; we no longer enjoy the activities we used to enjoy. Even jokes have become stale. This is the reason why senior citizens are viewed as “grouchy”.
No one is born with an instruction manual for life. Despite all the helpful advice from parents, teachers and elders, each of us must find our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often messing things up. But if you get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking to just a few tried and safe behaviors, you will miss out on many opportunities. People who never make mistakes never really accomplish anything.
So, let us identify the habits that we are not conscious of but are actually running your life for you. Here are the habits that we need to get rid of:
- Face the truth about your habits squarely: Past successes are the source of these habits. You have formed habitual, automatic behaviors because you once dealt with something successfully, tried the same response, and found it worked again. That is how habits are formed because you have found them to be useful. To get away from what will cause your unhappiness and discomfort, you must identify and give up many of your most fondly held habits. Move on and try new ways of thinking and acting.
- Do something differently and see what happens: Even the most successful habits eventually lose their sting as time moves on and fresh responses are called for. Yet we hang on to them long after they fail us. Past strategies are bound to be ineffective eventually and letting them become automatic habits that take control of your life is a sure way to harm yourself.
- Pause and have a long hard look at yourself: Discovering your unconscious habits may be difficult, but you need to know what to give up. Anyone who has ever tried to give up smoking will attest to that.
- Bare yourself: People always try to fit in to get on in the world; that they must either conform to be liked and respected by others or be a social outcast. Because most people want to please, they try to become what they believe others expect them to be, even if it means forcing themselves to be the kind of person they are not.
You need to start by putting yourself first. Putting others second means giving them their due respect, but not ignoring them totally. Keeping up a self-image can be a burden. Hanging on to an inflated, unrealistic ego is a curse. Give yourself a break.
- Slow down and trust in God: Most of us want to think of ourselves as good, kind, intelligent and caring. That cannot always be true. Reality is complex. We cannot function at all without constant external input and support. Everything we have and everything we learned came to us from somebody else through a Divine master plan. At best, we pass on this borrowed experience to others, enhanced by our contribution. At worst, we waste and squander it. Always pray and seek Divine guidance; there is no need to wear a mask; no need to pretend; no need to fear the truth.
Once you discover what habits are holding you back, get rid of them while retaining those that are positive. Like clothing and fashion, dispose of your old set of clothes that are way out of fashion. When you face your own truth, you will find enormous relief. There is no point in berating yourself, but move on.
Unless you can let go of those old, worn-out habits, they will continue to hold you prisoner. To stay in your comfort zone, through habits that cause irrational anxieties, will condemn you to a life of frustration and regret.
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| "Who? Me? |
As has been repeated many times, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe can be achieved."
You will find ways to acquire your dream and, when psychologically ready, it will arrive faster than you ever thought possible. In effect, what you are doing is deliberately preparing for self-fulfilling prophecy.
Negative comfort zones can be overcome by setting and thinking about positive goals. What we think about all day and what we expect, be it positive or negative, becomes our comfort zone.
