For the last 60 or so years, I have been always gentlemanly.
In my recent sojourns to the malls and public places, I was practically being
pushed to walk ahead of my lady companions in walkways, escalators and
elevators – to make me realize that I have become a weak senior citizen. I was
also being offered the use of a walking stick! I look at the mirror and I
understand.
The changing of the guard has started. I am no longer in
command physically, emotionally psychologically and perhaps, even economically.
The 3 ladies that I have allowed to bully me around are my
wife and my 2 daughters. I refuse to be pushed around by anyone else.
Especially pushy is my 11-year old grandson, who does the easy route of getting
his way by giving me a bear hug, which he learned from his jujitsu lessons.
I have seen too many dear people leave this world, too soon;
before they even understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Only my dear roommate cares if I choose to watch TV, read or
play on the computer until 4 AM, or sleep until noon the next day. With the accompaniment of youtube, I sing to
the nostalgic tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s and undying songs of the original
Ateneo Glee Club..
I know I have become forgetful. But then again, some sad episodes
of my life are just as well forgotten. And
those worth remembering, I eventually remember, especially with the help of my
friend Google.
Sure, over the years, I have known deep heartbreak. But
broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A
heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of
being human.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to allow my head to
go bald, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep furrows
on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their
hair could turn silver.
As one gets older, it is easier to be positive. You care
less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I even think I've earned the right to be
wrong.
I like being old because age has set me free. I like the unobtrusive
person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still
here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about
what will be. And I shall dance and run every time I feel like it – until, of
course, I feel the huffing and puffing and the weakness in my legs.
